Betty's Beer Bar 1.3.5.
Meet the beautiful Betty. She works in an awful bar, far away from any major city, where the most wacky and fun characters go for some beers. But her dream is to own a bar in a tropical beach. Help her raise the needed money working in several different bars so she can fulfill her dreams!
Betty’s Beer Bar is a fast paced and addictive arcade game. Your task is to serve the customers as quickly as possible - keep them happy and they will give you huge tips. Serve them coffee when they’re about to get drunk, to keep them awake - drunk customers rarely pay!
With good reflexes and a sharp mind, Betty will earn enough money to leave her original work place and start progressing towards her own bar in the caribbean!
Like an octogenarian on the last night of an eight-day drunk, Mystery Studio has an uncanny knack for attacking innocent bystanders whilst armed only with a razor-sharp pair of dentures and a cast-off pair of “support hose.” This special talent for the infliction of pain can also be seen in this hideous distortion of the wildly popular and highly competitive genre of bar-tending games.
Packed with a “dynamite” cast of “wacky” customers, the bulky frustum of this heavily crusted divertissement is composed of tedium that has been ineptly alloyed with sloshy pabulum. The drunken nun, the escaped convict, the Martian emissary, the harem girl who has temporarily evaded the marauding cartloads of eunuchs that run riot through the streets of this wicked little town — all can rub shoulders and more savory body parts at Betty’s Bacchanalian Beer Business.
The occasional shifty-eyed Republican can even be seen here, expanding the faith-based electronic surveillance system and eager to prove that money CAN buy happiness — as many pints of happiness as you can afford, provided that big gubmint doesn’t take away your beer money to feed starving orphans, those bastards.
Billed as a “nonviolent” game, BBB makes up its sin quotient by objectifying hot chicks and promoting the spread of alcoholism. We feel that “fair and balanced” game-play would also promote the benefits of huffing herring packed in pressurized chloroform. We must ask a simple question of Mystery Studio: Why? Why do you hate freedom so much?
Is $19.95 (29,150 Iraqi Dinars) too high a price to pay for this cheesy slice o’ paradise? In a word, yes. A million times, yes! You could pick up low-mileage stinger missile for that kind of bread, and still have enough left over to take your fellow insurgents out for goat kebabs. Given such a pathetic cost/falafel thingy-bob, we feel obliged to save this software from international terrorism by destroying it.
Mystery Studio, please accept our most gelatinous 11.0 rating, a well-meant scimitar through your metaphorical heart, and an invitation to permeate the porous borders of America. It’s no Prague, but at least we know which side our mutton’s buttered on, if you catch our drift.
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